A few minutes after 2 pm my dear Joey exhaled his last breath on earth. It was peaceful for him I believe. Folks always told me my voice put them to sleep. So for the last two hours I spoke to him with comforting words, prayed for him for our God to grant him peace, and spent the last hour reading from the Bible, mostly Psalms for the comforting words and rhythm. I held his hand in mine for the last time during that hour. Although he never regained any signs of awareness since making the choice he did on January 17th, I hope my voice gave him comfort on some level throughout his last days.
Hospice was the most peaceful place for him. It was evident during his first night there. His tossing and jerking had gone once he was in his quite room. They kept giving him meds for anxiety and pain so he could just rest. I think his nurse this afternoon thought he was going to go longer because she said it would be tonight or tomorrow, but he slipped away without pain quietly and peacefully just two hours after I got back from church this afternoon.
Last night I forced myself to make two Valentine cards and I’m so glad I did them then. One for each section of the hospital that took care of him – the SICU and then across the hall when he got out of ICU. I had picked up a bag of wrapped chocolates for each section. Everybody likes chocolates, right? Sometimes on my way home from work I would ask Joey if I could bring him anything, he usually asked for chocolate. I always brought some to him. He was my joy and delight.
I miss him so much. But through this hurt of loss I am holding on to the peace he now has for all of eternity.