Letting nature take its course with Joe’s body has been decided by the family. Selfishly we want him back but this isn’t to be had. His brain is too far gone and although he is kept on pain meds, he could be suffering. His body is drawing up and he still spikes fevers. His vital signs still spike too, heart rate soars, blood pressure sky rockets. Now he has an infection starting in his lungs. It feels cruel to allow him to lie there this way, trembling and soaked in sweat, drawing his arms up and half opened eyes that never respond. For all purposes Joe died on January 17th but by the miracle of modern medicine his body didn’t.
This is one of the two I gave Adam and Daniel, the trauma nurses who took card of Joe in ER. The councilor who talked with us today after the doctor left will get this owl card with a bag of individually wrapped chocolates that she so sweetly shared with us. It is in a jar the staff helps themselves to on occasion. Its silly, but I feel that making cards for someone, right now especially for anyone who has helped make Joe comfortable, is also from him too.